Worried

I've been away from my afternoon classes for a week as of today. I'm getting super worried about that now. I know I should have been in school, but I had other things to do.

Tuesday I was sick (still am)
Wednesday I got excused from my classes to go to the art competition in Neligh.
Thursday I got taken out because of a Dr. apptmt. An appt. that I didn't even get to go to because the doctor was called in for surgery. I also needed to do some testing for college.
Friday I got taken out so I could apply for financial aid at Northeast.
Pathetic I know, but I had to do it.
. . .
Now I have to worry about my classes.
Animal Science was probably all note taking and reviews. So I'm not worried. It's a morning class so I went to most of the class during the week.
Creative Art has me jumpy though. Need to make a final art piece in what. 4 days? Not happening ): Ever. So that has me sweating.
Creative Writing also has me worried a lot because I'm just not prepared. I haven't had many peer edits. Or any edits really. So It's not like I can print my stuff and say they were my five edited pieces right? I also have absolutely no idea what the binder is suppose to look like. I wish teacher would give us some examples or least edit some pieces (since 1 person has edited anything of mine. Though I continue to share) .
Alg/Trig is also terrible. I have no idea what is happening in this class. It's an afternoon class so I was gone a lot. We learned new stuff and I'm lost. It's too late to come in for help anyways. I'm just soo pathetic sometimes.
Young Adult Novels has me worried a little bit because it's the only class keeping me from graduating. I only needed 5 English credits. That class is my only English class I took. Sooo.... Yeah.

Worried much? 

Nahhh! 

:-/

Problem

So, um.
The end of school is coming up and I've only had my writings peer edited by one person.
So um.
Yeah.
Problem?

Poem Samplers

Alphabet:

Driving the
Rusty needle
Under the skin
Glad that the high will soon commence.
   
Figures of Speech:

A fuzzy slinky
hops through my garden
and steals my last
orange carrot.

Poem Engine:

How the earth is and in the sacred woods:
The crow acts as a plume of dark blue with fair hair;
those snarling monsters does he sink;
and among water-lilies! of black devils and black wolves!
The wind kisses her breasts oh flower-flesh.
- a nest of mad kisses, down the long black river.
The wolves howl back great conquering black eyes.
- sky is hell-red i long for the time.
How the earth is, and in the sacred woods
under the light of under your white skin
blood of green trees like black;
I no longer felt myself, and distances from that time,
devouring the green azures where low-hanging sun speckled
drowned men sank, i hung there
by Jessica & Arthur Rimbaud

Free Verse:

The wind might ease;

the sun might shine,

but the leaves have turned

a rusty gray.

Soon the wind will howl;

the sun will die.

Fall will begin

then end in a

snow-covered Hell.

My days will be over

and I will sleep on a

tortuous, bitter

long day.

The sun will have died

and all that’s left-

my old brittle bones

under white snowflakes.

Comments(: ?

Wwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

I've been thinking. All but two of my pieces that we have worked on in this class have had deaths it them. In my Cinderella story I killed the Prince painfully before he truely was happy with Cinderella. Then there was my short stroy probably. Wet Sand where I made two innocent children find a dead man's body. Tragic. My One Act had multiple deaths in it! I killed off a wife, a brother, a crazy woman, a horse, a little girl, and I even threw in a suicide! It's like I wrote the months obituary and instead of putting it into the newspaper, I put it into a play. The movie review we are doing now even had death in it. Gee! I just can't stop can I? Well the newest project. The song lyrics. Yeah, Imma be killing more people. So watch out(:

lmL

(:

"Sure I like the bubblegum candy, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder what the cinnamon stick would taste like. Or the spicy cherry. Or the chewy lemon. But I stay with the bubblegum because I like it already and there's no need to risk hurting my taste buds if the other flavors aren't as good as my bubblegum."

• • Alex Thomsen: so you hurt your taste buds by not letting them explore? who knows, your bubblegum might pale in comparison of the lemon
  • Jessica Long: If only you knew

     
  • Alex Thomsen: oh, but I do...I know that your taste buds cry even now, lamenting that all they know is bubblegum. They beg for a chance to taste bitter sweet lemon and spicy cinnamon. Yet, sadly you ignore them... Come Jessica, step into the world...let your taste buds rejoice at the bountiful flavors they have yet sampled

     
  • Jessica Long: It's really just not as simple as that. It's difficult. Complicated. I'm used to bubblegum.

     

    ~If only I could tell you. If only I could explain to you what this means. If only you knew that what you just said, was impossibly wrong of you to say. If only you could see that that was my cry out and you just nailed the door shut~ 

March 9, 2012

       Today I got into my first car wreck. 
      I was picking up my dog from the groomer. I was completely stupid and let him sit shot gun. I was wearing my seat belt. I was driving back home. How was only down the street and to the right. The dog jumped into my lap. I looked down, pulled him off and by the time I looked back up. I hit the parked blazer. The airbag blew up, my face hurt instantly. I tried pressing the break. The officer says I hit the break instead. So everyone thinks I hit the car going faster than 25mph. Which is false. I couldn't put the car in park so I just took the keys out. I undid my seat belt and opened the car door. I noticed I couldn't open my eyes. They were closed and they weren't opening. I collapsed on my knees and said, "Help. Please." The owner came out of a house I'm guessing and said, "Do you know what you just did. Look at what you did!" I couldn't look at what I did because my eyes were pretty much nailed shut. Even if I wanted to look at the wreckage, I couldn't. The owner called the police and another person came up to me on the street. They said, "Are you okay?" I didn't know if I was okay or not.
       I couldn't see. I felt fine except for the loss of sight thing. I stood up and walked around. Held onto my eyes and paced I'm guessing. I asked the girl who asked if I was okay if I could call my mom. I called her but she couldn't hear me. So the person who yelled at me said, "Do you want me to talk to your mom! Hear let me talk to her." He took the phone from me. He said, "Yeah, Yeah. The cars are wrecked." The officer came up to me while I was sitting on the ground. He asked what happened. I told him. I told him that I couldn't open my eyes either. He called the ambulance. I heard it come. The sirens were unreal. I still couldn't open my eyes. 
       Someone came over to me from the ambulance I'm guessing. They put me into a head piece to keep my head from moving. Then they put me onto the long board and strapped me up. I couldn't see and now I couldn't move. I was pretty scared. The inside of the ambulance was dark and scary. It was like a sc-fy space craft. I could open my left eye a few times. They flushed my eyes out. That was uncomfortable but necessary. Then I heard my mom. If I could have smiled I would have. She was so worried. She was crying. She said I looked awful. She ended up riding with me to the E.R. 
       I opened my eyes once when inside the E.R. They were pushing me. I saw a blur of faces and colorful scrub shirts. That is when I got questioned. "How fast were you going? Where was the dog? Was your seat belt on?"  I felt awful. My mom and my boyfriend ended up coming over. 

       I hated that day.